


John is NOT the Little Red Hen

by ChrisCalledMeSweetie



Series: Children's Classics with a Johnlock Twist [9]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, John is a Saint, Johnlock Roulette, M/M, Stroppy Sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 07:33:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8569741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChrisCalledMeSweetie/pseuds/ChrisCalledMeSweetie
Summary: “Who will help me build this bed frame?” asked John.  “Not I,” said Sherlock.  “Building beds is boring.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DaisyFairy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyFairy/gifts).



Once upon a time, Sherlock was in a stroppy mood.  Actually, it wasn’t _once_ upon a time — it was quite a frequent occurrence.  This particular stroppy mood, however, happened to coincide with John’s decision to buy a new bed.  

 

“Who will help me go to IKEA?” asked John.

 

“Not I,” said Sherlock.  “IKEA is full of idiots.”

 

So John went to IKEA by himself.  When he returned, he found Sherlock right where he’d left him, sulking on the sofa.

 

“Who will help me drag this box up the stairs?” asked John.

 

“Not I,” said Sherlock.  “Dragging boxes is a drag.”  

 

So John dragged the box up the stairs by himself.  He opened it up and took out the instruction leaflet.

 

“Who will help me decipher these ridiculously complicated directions?” asked John.

 

“Not I,” said Sherlock.  “Those directions were written by language-impaired toddlers with no sense of spacial awareness.”

 

So John deciphered the ridiculously complicated directions by himself.  He gathered the tools he would need, and laid out all of the parts in some semblance of order.

 

“Who will help me build this bed frame?” asked John.

 

“Not I,” said Sherlock.  “Building beds is boring.”

 

So John built the bed frame by himself.  He was proud of his accomplishment, but his work wasn’t done.

 

“Who will help me go mattress shopping?” asked John.

 

“Not I,” said Sherlock.  “Mattress shops are full of morons.”

 

So John went mattress shopping by himself.  He tried each mattress, until he found one that was just right.  Deciding that even _he_ would be incapable of wrestling a king size mattress up two flights of stairs without help, he arranged to have it delivered.  

 

Once the new mattress was in place, John asked, “Who will help me make up this bed with fresh linens?”

 

“Not I,” said Sherlock.  “Fresh bedding is for fools.”

 

So John made up the bed himself.  It looked quite inviting. 

 

“Who will help me use this bed?” asked John.

 

“Not I,” said Sherlock.  “Sleeping is stupid.”

 

“Who said anything about sleeping?” asked John.

 

Sherlock’s stroppy mood suddenly evaporated, never to return.  Well, at least not as frequently.  And when it did make an unwelcome reappearance, John knew just the remedy.

 

So they lived — _mostly_ happily — ever after.

 

_The End_

**Author's Note:**

> Who will read this without clicking the kudos button?
> 
> (You know your line, right?)
> 
> ;D
> 
> P.S. Manon_de_Sercoeur just left me a comment with a link to Benedict Cumberbatch reading The Little Red Hen - and it's published by Penguin! You have to watch this!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKnvC67ECMM


End file.
